These past 2 weeks have been pretty rough for us. First, I get sick to the point that I think I might need surgery. Next, my wife wakes me up by singing to a porcelain god. To top that off, the kid did what can best be described as something out of 'The Exorcist'... from both ends. So Unholy.
Normally, my wife plays the Dr. Mom role to a T. She makes it look easy. I just take full advantage of it. It is TRUE. I will admit it. I will let her take the kid, and sooth her on the couch all night long. Meanwhile, I'll be fast asleep in la-la land. And, Yes... I have done that a few times.
But there comes a time in every Dad's life where he steps it up takes on Dr. Dad responsibilities. For me, this week is that time.
As long as we're being honest, (which I can say I am about 98.943% of the time on this blog, even to the chagrin of my family and friends), I feel really guilty about letting my wife shoulder a great deal of that responsibility. So, when I see her sick or hurt, I not only am needed to step up, I do so with gusto!
Why don't I do it more often? (I guess this blog really is my therapy.) Because I do have a selfish streak. It's true. There are not many friends I wouldn't tell about my million dollar jackpot too. (Don't worry Guffy, you'd be the first I'd call.) (Hell, I'd send a jet for you first before I called.) (Sorry everyone that's not Guffy.)
You ask my wife, and I'm the perfect Dad. I engage her. I look after her in the morning while my wife's at work. I hold her and play with her. I know my wife would tell you because she tells me. A lot. However, I still feel kinda guilty that I don't do it more often.
So. I postulate, does not wanting to do more taking care of the kid, even when told I am doing so, in fact mean that I am doing better than I should be? ... Existentialism be damned, I want and shall do more! And that's why I am more than happy to play Dr. Dad. ...
For a little while any way.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Quick thought: Spy Ninja Weapons
New feature: Quick Thought.
A.) Testing out my mobile blogger app. So far, so good.
B.) Why don't spys use more baby toys? I know at night, when I'm walking around, those f-ers hurt. Seriously, just impaled myself on a Fisher Price Block. Great for kids play and spy ninja weapons!
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
DadHack: Sippy Coffee
As part of a daily ritual, before we go to the park, I find us going to the local coffeebux every other morning. Now that the kid can hold up a sippy cup, she really wants to hold everything, including her bottle. Problem is, it's not wide enough for her yet. Her bottle has no handles. BUT, add an empty coffee cup to the equation, AND: Volia! Someone is part of the group.
"You have a cold?" "Na, I got a kid."
Sorry I've been gone for the past week. I have been crazy sick. However, in sickness, I have had an EXPLOSION of new topics to blog. The first one comes from a Netflix binge. Being sick is tough enough. Being sick with a kid is a whole different ballgame.
You can't just lay in bed and sleep the day away. You can't just call in sick.
We were recently watching a tv show Netflix told me was 'Amazeballs'. (Think I should copy write Amazeballs.) The name was Terra Nova. (Available on Blu-ray/DVD or for instant streaming.) In the first episode, one of the main characters is asked a simple question: "You have a cold?" He replies with, what I can only describe as fatherly stoicism. "Na, I got a kid."
BOOM! THAT is what I'm taking about! The circle of sickness.
Were sicknesses are involved, life before kids, sick days were full of naps and NyQuil tranquility. (And puppy dogs and rainbows, Unicorns and ice cream cone rain clouds.) There was also a time I could go throw up in the toilet, and just lay there for an hour on the cold ground and just recover.
Now, with a 7 month old, it's throw up as soon as you can, get it over with, mouth wash quick, then run/stumble back to the kid and make sure she's okay.
My recovery is only one part to this equation. It's almost impossible to be in such local proximity to someone, like my daughter, and not get them sick. No matter how many flu shots you get. (Notice I did not talk about vaccinations. That is something I wholeheartedly agree with, but we'll talk about that later.) (Just one thing, my kid dies because you just don't like shots, ... well... then I will tell you all about my feelings about that.)
Kids are germ and disease magnets. I've only been a dad for a few months, but I have never had this many random coughs, nose runs, or just aches and pains. I am getting old, (I know this), but this is a lot in a short amount of time. I know who it's from.
She puts ANYTHING in her mouth. It's her way of learning. It goes to make sense that she would "pick up" a thing or 2.
AAAAAAAAnd with that 'punny' joke, I'll be off. Remember, it's not that you're sick. You've just got a kid.
You can't just lay in bed and sleep the day away. You can't just call in sick.
We were recently watching a tv show Netflix told me was 'Amazeballs'. (Think I should copy write Amazeballs.) The name was Terra Nova. (Available on Blu-ray/DVD or for instant streaming.) In the first episode, one of the main characters is asked a simple question: "You have a cold?" He replies with, what I can only describe as fatherly stoicism. "Na, I got a kid."
BOOM! THAT is what I'm taking about! The circle of sickness.
Were sicknesses are involved, life before kids, sick days were full of naps and NyQuil tranquility. (And puppy dogs and rainbows, Unicorns and ice cream cone rain clouds.) There was also a time I could go throw up in the toilet, and just lay there for an hour on the cold ground and just recover.
Now, with a 7 month old, it's throw up as soon as you can, get it over with, mouth wash quick, then run/stumble back to the kid and make sure she's okay.
My recovery is only one part to this equation. It's almost impossible to be in such local proximity to someone, like my daughter, and not get them sick. No matter how many flu shots you get. (Notice I did not talk about vaccinations. That is something I wholeheartedly agree with, but we'll talk about that later.) (Just one thing, my kid dies because you just don't like shots, ... well... then I will tell you all about my feelings about that.)
Kids are germ and disease magnets. I've only been a dad for a few months, but I have never had this many random coughs, nose runs, or just aches and pains. I am getting old, (I know this), but this is a lot in a short amount of time. I know who it's from.
She puts ANYTHING in her mouth. It's her way of learning. It goes to make sense that she would "pick up" a thing or 2.
AAAAAAAAnd with that 'punny' joke, I'll be off. Remember, it's not that you're sick. You've just got a kid.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
A Parody of a Parody is my Friend
While watching Sesame Street with the Kid, I saw this parody of House of Cards:
If you have never seen House of Cards, it's a show that involves Frank Underwood, played by Kevin Spacey. He is a wheeling, dirty-dealing, get-what-he-wants, Washington DC insider. He is even willing to kill to become the President. Literally. (The 3rd season is being released of Friday.) (I CAN NOT WAIT!!!) UPDATE: THE THIRD SEASON IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!
I've noticed that the kid's shows from Sesame Street to Star Wars: The Clone Wars and countless others have taken to parodying different classic movies and tv shows. In fact, the show 'Codename: Kids Next Door' does a parody almost every episode.
I really enjoy these shows because it does something my childhood never was able to do. It bridges the gap between me and my daughter. I LOVE watching these shows. I get to relive moments in time where I first watched something. Example, Star Wars. It is my sacred text. I have memorized every moment, even the crappy re-re-re releases. (B.T.Dubs, George Lucas does write back to you. Or rather his sarcastic and mean-spirited secretary telling you "Mr. Lucas does not have time for you." That was more of a paraphrase than a quote, but you get the picture.) (Jar-Jar Binks? REALLY?)... My daughter loves Sesame street. I love it because she learns from it. But, Bridge the two together and BAM!:
My father and I had baseball. That was about it. All the shows out in the 80's and early 90's really were just about themselves. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, for example, did an episode where Mikey, (Yeah, I'm on that close of a relationship with him I call him Mikey, not Michelangelo) does a James Cagney impersonation. That's about the extent of parody back then. Now-a-days, shows like TMNT parodies are rampant on youtube and kid's shows. (The Best is the Epic Rap Battle: CAUTION: NAUGHTY WORDS AND SIMULATED VIOLENCE)
Remember, the 4 will be with you... always.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Something about Life and Lemons...
Today, something really struck me. While I was driving into work, I saw a homeless lady. She was panhandling in the middle of a divided road. She had taken a cart from a nearby store and laid it sideways on the ground. This thus made an impromptu chair for sitting. All I could think was, "WOW! How resourceful!"
That's really something I've come to learn to appreciate as a dad. I've done the 'bottle under the chin' trick. I've perfected the cooking with the kid on the kitchen floor. I've even gone so far as keys on a lanyard so I can be on the computer while the kid is on the couch next to me playing tug of war. But I have never thought of taking a shopping cart and making a chair. That was damn near genius level life hack.
That is something I would like to instill in you, Reader. Take what the world gives you and make the best of it. If life gives you shopping carts, make a chair.
That's really something I've come to learn to appreciate as a dad. I've done the 'bottle under the chin' trick. I've perfected the cooking with the kid on the kitchen floor. I've even gone so far as keys on a lanyard so I can be on the computer while the kid is on the couch next to me playing tug of war. But I have never thought of taking a shopping cart and making a chair. That was damn near genius level life hack.
That is something I would like to instill in you, Reader. Take what the world gives you and make the best of it. If life gives you shopping carts, make a chair.
Why Naps Aren't JUST for College
When the Kid takes a nap, it's like the world goes into a hyper state of being. Unicorns and Rainbows litter the skies, while elves come out of hiding from their homes in the walls. Clouds open their eyes from a drowsy sleep and flutter away with thunderous yawns, opening up the earth to the Sun's rays of vitamin D happiness.
AND SHIT GETS DONE!
Now, there are those times "when they sleep, you sleep." This is true. There have been those nights when she can't sleep, which means I can't sleep. These naps on those days are perfect times to be asleep yourself.
Mostly, I get to work. There is sooooo many things that can get done while she rests. For instance:
-cleaning up around the house
-cooking lunch or dinner
-cleaning dishes
-doing laundry
-binge watching Netflix shows
-writing a blog
-taking out the trash
-enjoying a Mojito (responsibly)
-learning a new language
-reading a book
-polishing your resume (if you'd like to see mine, just ask)
-vacuuming
Of course, don't vacuum if your kid's a light sleeper. My kid can sleep through a hurricane. I don't know if that saying is true, but I DO know she can sleep through Decepticons battling Optimus Prime riding a dinosaur waving a sword with Micheal Bay Explosions EVERYWHERE!!!... That has been tested.
All going back to multitasking, naps are a perfect time to get things done.
AND SHIT GETS DONE!
Now, there are those times "when they sleep, you sleep." This is true. There have been those nights when she can't sleep, which means I can't sleep. These naps on those days are perfect times to be asleep yourself.
Mostly, I get to work. There is sooooo many things that can get done while she rests. For instance:
-cleaning up around the house
-cooking lunch or dinner
-cleaning dishes
-doing laundry
-binge watching Netflix shows
-writing a blog
-taking out the trash
-enjoying a Mojito (responsibly)
-learning a new language
-reading a book
-polishing your resume (if you'd like to see mine, just ask)
-vacuuming
Of course, don't vacuum if your kid's a light sleeper. My kid can sleep through a hurricane. I don't know if that saying is true, but I DO know she can sleep through Decepticons battling Optimus Prime riding a dinosaur waving a sword with Micheal Bay Explosions EVERYWHERE!!!... That has been tested.
All going back to multitasking, naps are a perfect time to get things done.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Take My Wife...
One thing that I am truly Thankful for is my wife. And I'm not just saying this because I know she reads my blog. (Not Juuuuust sayin.... Lovies!)
I work at a grocery store. I won't bother you with which one, because all you need to know is.... I WORK AT A FREAKING GROCERY STORE!
Some days are better than others. The weekends tend to suck. Thanks a lot to the pretentious customers that feel they know more about the reason organic gluten free banana bread is better than conventional gluten free banana bread. Add on top of that the same things you get at any job.
 |
| Ummm Yeeeeeeah... If you could read this in my voice, that'd be great. |
I could use this blog to complain about all those life's little annoyances. THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE! (entirely.) (Besides, that's the Brass Tap after work.)
After all that chite, I get home and within 5 minutes, all that melts away. My wife put the kid in my lap, grabbed me a beer and a Sloppy Joe. Netflix was running one of my favorite shows, Futurama. The only thing that could have made this homecoming better would be one of those sexy showers. (THERE IS STILL TIME REBECCA!!!)
Aaaaaanywho... It just reminded me how lucky I am to have my significant other. She is there to listen to me complain about not just the Kid, but everything else. There's a whole world outside these front doors that suck. She has the patience of an angel to sit there and just listen. She tries to fix what she can. And what she can't, she makes better by just being there.
Of course she's there with the Kid, too. I can wake her up at 5 am and say, "Hey, Woman. Take Your Child!" And after she's done laughing at me or punching me in the stomach for my insolence, she tends to, on occasion, take the kid and let me sleep. I love you so much, Honey.
I hope that if you are a first time dad that you too are enjoying the pleasures of having someone to help fix life's little problems.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
All Work and No Play
There comes a time in every couples life where they need a time together. When they can rekindle the force that helped them to create the life of their child.
Some families don't get that luxury. Whether it is because of a broken non-nuclear household, or whatnot. Some families have schedules that are not conducive to the relationship renewals of which I speak. But, for families that stay united, they need to reunite.
According to my Wife's gynecologist, this was only physically interrupted by six weeks. According to my little Sargent, (he was promoted from private first class after the great war of Shelia Wobtowski,) this should have been a lot sooner.
As the Kid has grown, the times between our rendezvous has grown increasingly larger. There was time when the Kid would just be fine sitting there looking at her mobile. There would be times when my wife and I were off work and could make things work.
Lately, she has been having trouble sleeping. Which means, we've been having trouble sleeping. Which means, I've been having trouble "sleeping." (wink wink.)
What's a man in this situation to do? Get creative and make it work. Think about it, all great men do that. Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Gen. Patton, Heisenberg, all great men who got creative and made things work. Only, I can't split the atom or take over large swatches of land.... Legally.
Instead, I suggest making that multitasking work. Showers are a great place to get things done. Brushing your teeth. Doing your dishes. (Yes, I stole that from Seinfeld. What's up with that??) Or making of the sexy time.
As far as getting creative goes, why not try something new? I feel kinda weird talking about this in a blog about being a dad, but isn't the best part about being a good dad, also being a good husband?
Just a few quick ideas in not so great detail:
Role-playing. Try something you might have never before.
Make time for it. Get a babysitter so as to not be interrupted.
Try using food as whipped cream and chocolate sauce. It makes for great dessert.
Toys can be fun. I would suggest asking them for their favorite as opposed to forcing your ideas on your partner. Remember, it's a team building exercise.
Just remember, it may be all about the kid, but you gotta treat yourselves sometimes. All work and no play makes Daddying a tough job.
Some families don't get that luxury. Whether it is because of a broken non-nuclear household, or whatnot. Some families have schedules that are not conducive to the relationship renewals of which I speak. But, for families that stay united, they need to reunite.
According to my Wife's gynecologist, this was only physically interrupted by six weeks. According to my little Sargent, (he was promoted from private first class after the great war of Shelia Wobtowski,) this should have been a lot sooner.
As the Kid has grown, the times between our rendezvous has grown increasingly larger. There was time when the Kid would just be fine sitting there looking at her mobile. There would be times when my wife and I were off work and could make things work.
Lately, she has been having trouble sleeping. Which means, we've been having trouble sleeping. Which means, I've been having trouble "sleeping." (wink wink.)
What's a man in this situation to do? Get creative and make it work. Think about it, all great men do that. Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Gen. Patton, Heisenberg, all great men who got creative and made things work. Only, I can't split the atom or take over large swatches of land.... Legally.
Instead, I suggest making that multitasking work. Showers are a great place to get things done. Brushing your teeth. Doing your dishes. (Yes, I stole that from Seinfeld. What's up with that??) Or making of the sexy time.
As far as getting creative goes, why not try something new? I feel kinda weird talking about this in a blog about being a dad, but isn't the best part about being a good dad, also being a good husband?
Just a few quick ideas in not so great detail:
Role-playing. Try something you might have never before.
Make time for it. Get a babysitter so as to not be interrupted.
Try using food as whipped cream and chocolate sauce. It makes for great dessert.
Toys can be fun. I would suggest asking them for their favorite as opposed to forcing your ideas on your partner. Remember, it's a team building exercise.
Just remember, it may be all about the kid, but you gotta treat yourselves sometimes. All work and no play makes Daddying a tough job.
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Bottles and Nipples
Recently, I have found myself vexed in quandary; What to do about our bottle and nipple situation.
The Kid is now in need of the fast flow nipples. When it was time to upgrade from slow to medium flow, it was simple. We only had a few bottles. Now, we have a quadrillion of them, give or take. And they all need different nipples.
So, how does one rectify this situation?
I do appreciate all the gifts we've received. From the little toys to the jogger stroller. We've gotten a ton of small 'things.' We also we given the crib, the pack-and-play and a ton of other big ticket items. We really couldn't afford the keep it all one style or type. I know some folk are able to, but, much like the rest of my life, it's all a modge podge.
Such was the bottles. We had received a lot of the smaller ones from the hospital. They did a great job of setting us up initially. We had an issue with breast feeding. Cori would only drink from a feeding tube, so for the first few weeks, we didn't need much. We moved to a 4 oz bottle shortly after. We had only a few and needed only a few.
Then came the move to the medium flow nipples. In the baby shower and before the Kid got here, we were gifted several larger bottles. The 8 and 9 oz bottles all had different nipples. Most were already medium flow. Some even had large flow. Now, at 6 months of use however, they've begun to leak or become obsolete.
The options we have for upgrading to a fast flow nipple are not that great. The only REAL option is to buy just the fast flow nipples. But, since we have several different bottles, some that won't fit universal nipples, we have to buy several different types. My plan is to simplify.
Even though it will cost more, I plan on making this easy. The Gerber type bottles that I have will work. They take universal nipples and have fast flow replacements. And replacement bottles are a smaller cost than most. If there must be a cost that is incurred, (let's face it, it's a kid. There WILL be costs that are incurred,) then let's make it a cheaper one. The quality ain't half bad either.
Looking at the whole situation overall, I can't complain though. Thanks to all the support staff, we really didn't have to buy a lot in this area so far. So if I have to pay a little bit to simplify this process, I will gladly throw a few dollars at it.
The attached chart, (from Iplay), explains the different bottle stages:
Currently, the Kid and I are in Stage 3. She needs the faster flow nipple, but is supplementing that with Sippy cups. (More on that later.)
If you want to know more about where you can buy bottles and nipples, I personally use these resources:
Toys R Us
Amazon
Walmart (if I have to, their quality is iffy, but they are always cheap.)
Walgreens / CVS
Ross (Only sometimes do I really luck out here. They are ALWAYS great for clothes though.)
The Kid is now in need of the fast flow nipples. When it was time to upgrade from slow to medium flow, it was simple. We only had a few bottles. Now, we have a quadrillion of them, give or take. And they all need different nipples.
So, how does one rectify this situation?
I do appreciate all the gifts we've received. From the little toys to the jogger stroller. We've gotten a ton of small 'things.' We also we given the crib, the pack-and-play and a ton of other big ticket items. We really couldn't afford the keep it all one style or type. I know some folk are able to, but, much like the rest of my life, it's all a modge podge.
Such was the bottles. We had received a lot of the smaller ones from the hospital. They did a great job of setting us up initially. We had an issue with breast feeding. Cori would only drink from a feeding tube, so for the first few weeks, we didn't need much. We moved to a 4 oz bottle shortly after. We had only a few and needed only a few.
Then came the move to the medium flow nipples. In the baby shower and before the Kid got here, we were gifted several larger bottles. The 8 and 9 oz bottles all had different nipples. Most were already medium flow. Some even had large flow. Now, at 6 months of use however, they've begun to leak or become obsolete.
The options we have for upgrading to a fast flow nipple are not that great. The only REAL option is to buy just the fast flow nipples. But, since we have several different bottles, some that won't fit universal nipples, we have to buy several different types. My plan is to simplify.
Even though it will cost more, I plan on making this easy. The Gerber type bottles that I have will work. They take universal nipples and have fast flow replacements. And replacement bottles are a smaller cost than most. If there must be a cost that is incurred, (let's face it, it's a kid. There WILL be costs that are incurred,) then let's make it a cheaper one. The quality ain't half bad either.
Looking at the whole situation overall, I can't complain though. Thanks to all the support staff, we really didn't have to buy a lot in this area so far. So if I have to pay a little bit to simplify this process, I will gladly throw a few dollars at it.
The attached chart, (from Iplay), explains the different bottle stages:
Currently, the Kid and I are in Stage 3. She needs the faster flow nipple, but is supplementing that with Sippy cups. (More on that later.)
If you want to know more about where you can buy bottles and nipples, I personally use these resources:
Toys R Us
Amazon
Walmart (if I have to, their quality is iffy, but they are always cheap.)
Walgreens / CVS
Ross (Only sometimes do I really luck out here. They are ALWAYS great for clothes though.)
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
DadHack: Staying Frosty
This is the beginning of what I call life hacks. The first of an installment of many hopefully a little things that you can do to help make your life easier, especially when it comes to the kids.
Today, we went to Wendy's drive-through and got a frosty. I really wanted to eat it, but I knew I'd get it all over the car... I mean, the Kid would get it everywhere... soo....
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Can't Raise A Kid Without Cracking a Few Goose Eggs
This morning, I was watching the kid by myself. Mom was at work. I had a few things to take care of by myself in the room of rest. Yep, that's right, the Browns FINALLY made the Super (toilet) Bowl. And, as any parent should be able to tell you, there's a time and a place you just need to be alone.
Cori was content watching TV on the couch and sucking on her teething wand. I had the Boppy turned in to hold her there. I had Boozer, the nurse dog, on the couch watching her. AND I had Colee, the protector dog, watching him on the floor. I HAD A SYSTEM! It was in place! The ONE thing that could go wrong, (yes, I'm being facetious,) did. (Seriously facetious.) (Ironically, Seriously Facetious.) (This whole article.) (Just keep reading.)
The Kid decided she was ready to crawl. Her booties were made for crawling. Crawl she did, right off the couch. Mid-ploop, I hear, "(giggle giggle). (dog panic running away). (THUD). Waaaaaaaa!" ... Ahhhh Shatner.
Yep, that happened. She hit the side of her head on floor. BUT! I did know what to do!
A couple of New Years ...es ago, I knocked my melon on a steel beam while I was jumping from a hot tub to a pool. NO ONE thought about bringing me ice. (Yes, it's their not thinking that I am blaming.) (I can not remember if they ever did give me ice. But, I did find out I can time travel. I just need a shit ton of booze and a steel beam. Ooooor just the booze.) UPDATE: My wife just read this that said that I went to lay down on the cold bathroom floor. I laid longways in a hallway shaped water closet. She couldn't open the door apparently to get me. Then, I went back into the hot tub and finished my beer. Didn't remember.
With this knowledge, I jumped into action! I got some ice, and Tylenol. (Target brand equivalent.) After a good 5 minutes of just letting it go, she finally calmed down. That's when I noticed the size of the goose egg that grew out of the side of her head.
That got me thinking, you can't make an omelette without cracking a few eggs. I tried to word the title like that, however cracking a few skulls and kids in the same sentence didn't really go that well. (However, I added in here anyway! HA! Sensibilities be damned!)
It's so true! Kids get bumped, bruised, and sometimes bloody. That's how they learn. That's how we learn! You think I'm going to trust the doggy body guards again? Hell n...maybe. ... Actually...
When I was a kid, I remember my father telling me not to put my hand on the stove. What did I do? I put my hand on that damn stove! And yes, it did burn like Hell. And yes, I did have it wrapped for several days. So what did I do? I put my hand on the stove again, just to make sure that it was not just that one time that I would be burned. I learned from that mistake. Twice, but I did learn.
The fact that they WILL get hurt, one way or the other, isn't what to focus on. It's the knowing what to do to focus on. And how do we find out what to do?
Ever hear, "Learn from the past?" We know what to do from experiences we've had in the past. OR from experiences that other's have had. OR just Google it. Someone probably blogged about it. ;)
Just remember, you can't raise a kid without cracking a few goose eggs. And, you can't make a good omelette without using a 1/2 tbsp of garlic and a good amount of Gruyere cheese. (Seriously.)
Friday, February 13, 2015
Get Work Done, Son! - 3. Timing
"Timing is Everything." Who said that? EVERY DAMN TEENAGER LOOKING FOR A QUOTE ON THE INTERNET EVER. But just because the Salutatorian is looking to out quote that smug little smile off Valedictorian Vicky's face, (Bitch), doesn't make it less true. (Seriously though, Vicky was a b to the itch and ya just couldn't scratch.) (UPDATE: Facebook research has concluded Vicky is no longer with us. She's not dead, bitch moved to Jolly Ol' En'land. At least she's not on this continent anymore.)
When it comes to taking care of the kid, I have found timing is everything. You need to make sure that you give yourself enough time for everything. If I have to be there at 4, I'll make sure we have everything we need at noon.
Yesterday, I had to drop the Kid off with the babysitter. Shelly lives across town. In town, to get from my house to hers, it normally takes about 15 minutes. With traffic, maybe 20. Since the road I would normally take is currently being redone due to the rich people paving over the forest to build a copy-paste neighborhood, it takes roughly 25 minutes. Which, in comparison to many places I've lived is a drop in the bucket. So, I tend to leave about 40 minutes later. Why do I leave so early? Because of what happened.
I put Cori in her car seat. I had her bag, toys, and everything else in the car. I opened the door and heard the most guttural noise the Kid has made. I look down. Cori looks up. Compared to the cherry red face, her eyes looked with white out spilled on a tomato. We all know what that means.
After taking 10 minutes to clean up what I can best describe as sweet potato puree, we left at a time I would leave if it was just me. We arrived at the babysitter's house right on time. "Why isn't she wearing pants?" I was asked. ... I referred her to this blog.
Everything in life is about timing. Especially when it comes to kids.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Stay-at-home Dads
The other morning, The Kid and I were watching CBS news when we saw a story about Stay-at-home Dads. I was very upset after watching.
The story, (linked above,) talks about several dads who are giving up their careers to become stay-at-home dads. That's great. I would LOVE to become one. My baby is my life. She is everything to me. I put her development above most of everything else. (I mean, come on. Bacon. Will be and always has been numbero uno.)
Al Watts is the main feature of the story. He has recently written a book called 'Dads behaving Dadly.' He and his wife Shirley talk in the story about their four kids, mentioning how he does all the housework, cooking, and day-to-day raising of the children while she is busy being an executive at ConAgra Foods. ... (putting a pin in this.)
It's not the fact that they have that arrangement that upsets me. It's not even the fact that she has a great job that allows him to benefit by staying at home and working on the family. That's 'Merica at work. I am all for the concept. It's the idea that this arrangement is upsetting societal norm. Not because it's a man instead of a woman. I couldn't care less about gender stereotypes. It's the fact that they act like everyone could afford a stay-at-home parent.
The CBS report says that 20% of wives out earn their husbands. THAT is awesome! But when McDonald's does not pay workers a living wage, it makes sense that gender equality should tip the balance on the lower end. With wages stagnating, and unemployment fluctuating the way it has been in the past decade, the idea that the median, not even the majority of households could afford this is laughable.
Also in the report, it's stated that 16% of at-home care takers are now stay-at-home dads. That's great. However, (pulling out that pin), that speaks to the idea they were going for, that this stay-at-home Dad concept is a rediculious affront to the societal normalcy. That being a man who care takes the home and raises the children is against the traditional values of putting the woman in that place. This story is now a two level offender to my sensibilities.
BUT WAIT! There's more!
My wife and I work 2 full time jobs. We have a baby at home. We barely make above the poverty line. (With GOOD jobs, mind you.) We can't get help like food stamps because we make just too much. I couldn't get a loan to buy my house, because I don't have enough collateral. I have to rent. I would love to have a second kid soon. Possibly even more down the line. With a Bachelor's Degree, you'd think I'd get a job that could pay just enough to do better than that. But I can't. Now, at 4:30 in the morning, while I'm in the most of cranky moods, I get to watch a puff piece about some rich ass talking about how everyone should be a stay-at-home parent... (Aggravation level: Orange.)
His wife works as an executive at ConAgra foods, one of the biggest, worst companies "for-profit lines only" thought processes. Where the environment is our play thing and the future is a leverage chip. I am jealous, in a way. Only because I have just as much of a right to be jealous of her job and money that she does to have it.
Shirley, taking about her husband in regards to the envy of her contemporaries stated that they ask "... how can I get one of those?" ... ... ... REALLY SIMPLE. Become an executive at ConAgra. I mean... come on. Can she be serious?
"Like many stay at home dads, he initially suffered from social isolation." ... A direct quote from the story... In other words, he got lonely from only talking to kids today. The part that brings me to a full tilt, however, is the "Like many stay at home dads." Not, 'Like many stay-at-home parents.' No... "... dads..." Just because they can afford this lifestyle, they make it seem like such a burden. I'd say that about stay-at-home moms too.
Towards the end, Watts is quoted as this is "surprising doable." ... It is. When your wife makes the salary of a ConAgra executive.
EVEN LOOKING AT THE NUMBERS OF CARE COST, if you take out the money it costs to put a kid in daycare, let alone 4, there is still the regular cost of food, clothes, and sheltering the children. That is just the basics. Now, add in Healthcare costs, recreation costs, median personal debt to the equation, you're facing a serious deficiet. UNLESS, you have an EXTREMELY well paying job, which have become rare as the war on the middle class continues.
I'm sorry, sir, but I must rebuke this idea of affordability. That's why I advocate for a strong, tag-teaming approach. where norms be damned, ANY parent can raise the kid. Whether it's a stay-at-home mom, dad, other dad or other mom, grandparent, aunt, uncle; I just could give less of a crap about whether it's a man or woman. It's the cost of it. We do live in a real world. If dreams of kitty cats and rainbows could help pay for this, I'd be all on board. Hell, I'd drive that bus.
... I hear Denmark is a good place for child care... hmmmmm.....
The story, (linked above,) talks about several dads who are giving up their careers to become stay-at-home dads. That's great. I would LOVE to become one. My baby is my life. She is everything to me. I put her development above most of everything else. (I mean, come on. Bacon. Will be and always has been numbero uno.)
Al Watts is the main feature of the story. He has recently written a book called 'Dads behaving Dadly.' He and his wife Shirley talk in the story about their four kids, mentioning how he does all the housework, cooking, and day-to-day raising of the children while she is busy being an executive at ConAgra Foods. ... (putting a pin in this.)
It's not the fact that they have that arrangement that upsets me. It's not even the fact that she has a great job that allows him to benefit by staying at home and working on the family. That's 'Merica at work. I am all for the concept. It's the idea that this arrangement is upsetting societal norm. Not because it's a man instead of a woman. I couldn't care less about gender stereotypes. It's the fact that they act like everyone could afford a stay-at-home parent.
The CBS report says that 20% of wives out earn their husbands. THAT is awesome! But when McDonald's does not pay workers a living wage, it makes sense that gender equality should tip the balance on the lower end. With wages stagnating, and unemployment fluctuating the way it has been in the past decade, the idea that the median, not even the majority of households could afford this is laughable.
Also in the report, it's stated that 16% of at-home care takers are now stay-at-home dads. That's great. However, (pulling out that pin), that speaks to the idea they were going for, that this stay-at-home Dad concept is a rediculious affront to the societal normalcy. That being a man who care takes the home and raises the children is against the traditional values of putting the woman in that place. This story is now a two level offender to my sensibilities.
BUT WAIT! There's more!
My wife and I work 2 full time jobs. We have a baby at home. We barely make above the poverty line. (With GOOD jobs, mind you.) We can't get help like food stamps because we make just too much. I couldn't get a loan to buy my house, because I don't have enough collateral. I have to rent. I would love to have a second kid soon. Possibly even more down the line. With a Bachelor's Degree, you'd think I'd get a job that could pay just enough to do better than that. But I can't. Now, at 4:30 in the morning, while I'm in the most of cranky moods, I get to watch a puff piece about some rich ass talking about how everyone should be a stay-at-home parent... (Aggravation level: Orange.)
His wife works as an executive at ConAgra foods, one of the biggest, worst companies "for-profit lines only" thought processes. Where the environment is our play thing and the future is a leverage chip. I am jealous, in a way. Only because I have just as much of a right to be jealous of her job and money that she does to have it.
Shirley, taking about her husband in regards to the envy of her contemporaries stated that they ask "... how can I get one of those?" ... ... ... REALLY SIMPLE. Become an executive at ConAgra. I mean... come on. Can she be serious?
"Like many stay at home dads, he initially suffered from social isolation." ... A direct quote from the story... In other words, he got lonely from only talking to kids today. The part that brings me to a full tilt, however, is the "Like many stay at home dads." Not, 'Like many stay-at-home parents.' No... "... dads..." Just because they can afford this lifestyle, they make it seem like such a burden. I'd say that about stay-at-home moms too.
Towards the end, Watts is quoted as this is "surprising doable." ... It is. When your wife makes the salary of a ConAgra executive.
EVEN LOOKING AT THE NUMBERS OF CARE COST, if you take out the money it costs to put a kid in daycare, let alone 4, there is still the regular cost of food, clothes, and sheltering the children. That is just the basics. Now, add in Healthcare costs, recreation costs, median personal debt to the equation, you're facing a serious deficiet. UNLESS, you have an EXTREMELY well paying job, which have become rare as the war on the middle class continues.
I'm sorry, sir, but I must rebuke this idea of affordability. That's why I advocate for a strong, tag-teaming approach. where norms be damned, ANY parent can raise the kid. Whether it's a stay-at-home mom, dad, other dad or other mom, grandparent, aunt, uncle; I just could give less of a crap about whether it's a man or woman. It's the cost of it. We do live in a real world. If dreams of kitty cats and rainbows could help pay for this, I'd be all on board. Hell, I'd drive that bus.
... I hear Denmark is a good place for child care... hmmmmm.....
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Get Work Done Son! - 2. Support
This morning at 4 am, I was reminded of what the number 2 system means. Support. True Support.
The kid woke up, starting crying, and just didn't know what she wanted. She wanted to be held. That was for sure. However, she didn't want to sit. Then again, she didn't want to stand. Then, she didn't want to be held. During all of this up-and-down, I started to feel something. Weak.
Something was not right. Every movement brought more and more discomfort. The clamminess, sweating my trembling hands, trying to comfort my displeased child. My legs seized every time I stood. My head at times would spin. My heartbeat felt like it jumped from my chest. Everything pulsated in time, like a metronome, speeding faster and faster. Thump. Thump Thump. Thump Thump Thump. All the while, my kid whined to be fed. I would feed her and she would whine I wasn't holding it right. Then she didn't want to be fed, and instead wanted on the ground the play. Never seesing. Always going. Added to the mayhem my body was giving me. Telling me of worse to come. Til finally, I knew what was going to happen.
I began to salivate rapidly. Like I had just seen a water bottle since the first time in the desert, my body began to prepare for what was coming. I tried putting Cori in the swing and going to evacuate the contents of my stomach, which at that time where a half eaten peanut butter and jelly. (Apple. In case you were wondering.) She was not having any of it. She would not be put down. Like Neapolion at Waterloo, I knew who would ultimately win this fight, but he constant whining was a presence I could not ignore. I held her again, trying to satiate her appetite for human contact. Until it was too late. I could not wait any more.
What I was attempting to do was not wake my wife. She has had it rough lately, getting up with the kid in the mornings. She works at a school, so she has to be there early. If I work until 10, which I do in most cases, then she will be up with Cori til she sleeps around 9. After that, she typically will wind down until I get home, then go to sleep. She has to be up at 6:30 for work. Between those times, Cori might wake up twice or three times just to be held or fed. Since I work so late and get up early to watch Cori while Rebecca is at work, I tend to sleep through those nighttime tears. I had today off, so I wanted to make sure Becca got all the sleep she could today. That was not going to be the case.
At the last possible moment, I woke up Becca. Dropping the kid to her side with near a-word of excuse, I sprang to the bathroom. Before I reached my destination however, the process began.
When all was said and done, Becca was by my side holding Cori, who was still whining because of some god only knows reason. So, I lay there, on the cold bathroom floor. Shivering but burning up. I attempted to make my way to the couch and stay awake with Rebecca while she watched the kid. My very matronly wife did not allow. She did not protest when I left her to take a shower and go back to sleep.
I woke up to a coughing session over the baby monitor a few hours later. By that time, my fever must have broken. I felt better, however still not near 100 percent. Even as I write this, I am having a bit of a headache. I finished the sandwich and a bowl of cereal as well. I even received a text. From the wife, it reads: "I hope you feel better. I love you."
Support. That's the number 2 thing I need to help raise this child and get work done. Not just from my wife, but all of our family. My mother-in-law has been tremendously supportive. She will watch Cori, but also have us for dinner every now-and-again. Her sister will watch Cor. My mother, who lives in Ohio, is extremely supportive. She has no ability to just come over and eat or watch the kid for us while we go to work or what-not. What my mother lacks in proximity, she has given ten fold to emotional support, financial support, and resourceful help.
Of course, it's not just family. Friends and co-workers are integral to our circle. I have a group of people I call on to watch Cori for a few hours a week while my wife and I are at work. My wife will work from 7 in the morning until 3:30 in the afternoon. I tend to draw a 2 pm to 10 pm shift. For all intents and purposes, we only need about 2 hours of daycare at most 3 days a week. Even then, thanks to support from my workplace, we're practically looking at 3 hours a week. If you look at daycare for infants under 1 years of age, a full-time day care will cost upwards of $2,000 a month. ... I don't make that much. My wife and I combined make just over that. There is in NO WAY we can afford those costs. It is IMPERATIVE that we have this group of supporting cast members helping us out.
Family, friends, work. Without these groups of support, I could not imagine trying to rear my child. I give as much credit to single parents as I can. That is basically the hardest thing I could think of doing. There is no one there at 4 am. There is tag-teaming when it comes to getting household chores done. You have to just make it work.
It takes a community to raise a child. It takes support to get work done, Son!
The kid woke up, starting crying, and just didn't know what she wanted. She wanted to be held. That was for sure. However, she didn't want to sit. Then again, she didn't want to stand. Then, she didn't want to be held. During all of this up-and-down, I started to feel something. Weak.
Something was not right. Every movement brought more and more discomfort. The clamminess, sweating my trembling hands, trying to comfort my displeased child. My legs seized every time I stood. My head at times would spin. My heartbeat felt like it jumped from my chest. Everything pulsated in time, like a metronome, speeding faster and faster. Thump. Thump Thump. Thump Thump Thump. All the while, my kid whined to be fed. I would feed her and she would whine I wasn't holding it right. Then she didn't want to be fed, and instead wanted on the ground the play. Never seesing. Always going. Added to the mayhem my body was giving me. Telling me of worse to come. Til finally, I knew what was going to happen.
I began to salivate rapidly. Like I had just seen a water bottle since the first time in the desert, my body began to prepare for what was coming. I tried putting Cori in the swing and going to evacuate the contents of my stomach, which at that time where a half eaten peanut butter and jelly. (Apple. In case you were wondering.) She was not having any of it. She would not be put down. Like Neapolion at Waterloo, I knew who would ultimately win this fight, but he constant whining was a presence I could not ignore. I held her again, trying to satiate her appetite for human contact. Until it was too late. I could not wait any more.
What I was attempting to do was not wake my wife. She has had it rough lately, getting up with the kid in the mornings. She works at a school, so she has to be there early. If I work until 10, which I do in most cases, then she will be up with Cori til she sleeps around 9. After that, she typically will wind down until I get home, then go to sleep. She has to be up at 6:30 for work. Between those times, Cori might wake up twice or three times just to be held or fed. Since I work so late and get up early to watch Cori while Rebecca is at work, I tend to sleep through those nighttime tears. I had today off, so I wanted to make sure Becca got all the sleep she could today. That was not going to be the case.
At the last possible moment, I woke up Becca. Dropping the kid to her side with near a-word of excuse, I sprang to the bathroom. Before I reached my destination however, the process began.
When all was said and done, Becca was by my side holding Cori, who was still whining because of some god only knows reason. So, I lay there, on the cold bathroom floor. Shivering but burning up. I attempted to make my way to the couch and stay awake with Rebecca while she watched the kid. My very matronly wife did not allow. She did not protest when I left her to take a shower and go back to sleep.
I woke up to a coughing session over the baby monitor a few hours later. By that time, my fever must have broken. I felt better, however still not near 100 percent. Even as I write this, I am having a bit of a headache. I finished the sandwich and a bowl of cereal as well. I even received a text. From the wife, it reads: "I hope you feel better. I love you."
Support. That's the number 2 thing I need to help raise this child and get work done. Not just from my wife, but all of our family. My mother-in-law has been tremendously supportive. She will watch Cori, but also have us for dinner every now-and-again. Her sister will watch Cor. My mother, who lives in Ohio, is extremely supportive. She has no ability to just come over and eat or watch the kid for us while we go to work or what-not. What my mother lacks in proximity, she has given ten fold to emotional support, financial support, and resourceful help.
Of course, it's not just family. Friends and co-workers are integral to our circle. I have a group of people I call on to watch Cori for a few hours a week while my wife and I are at work. My wife will work from 7 in the morning until 3:30 in the afternoon. I tend to draw a 2 pm to 10 pm shift. For all intents and purposes, we only need about 2 hours of daycare at most 3 days a week. Even then, thanks to support from my workplace, we're practically looking at 3 hours a week. If you look at daycare for infants under 1 years of age, a full-time day care will cost upwards of $2,000 a month. ... I don't make that much. My wife and I combined make just over that. There is in NO WAY we can afford those costs. It is IMPERATIVE that we have this group of supporting cast members helping us out.
Family, friends, work. Without these groups of support, I could not imagine trying to rear my child. I give as much credit to single parents as I can. That is basically the hardest thing I could think of doing. There is no one there at 4 am. There is tag-teaming when it comes to getting household chores done. You have to just make it work.
It takes a community to raise a child. It takes support to get work done, Son!
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Get Work Done Son! - 1. Multitask
My wife brought up a great point last night. She was home with the kid when I was at work. She said she tried to do dishes and some laundry, but Cori was fussy all day. Makes sense, Cor is teething and having, what I believe to be, the start of the separation anxiety stage. So, how do you get things done when the prince or princess just doesn't want to be let go?
I've been thinking about what are the best ways to get around that issue. I've come up with 3 systems that I have put in place, that seem to be working well. Number 1 is multitasking. THIS IS A MUST for all new parents. If you haven't had the chance to learn this skill, you NEED to.
I've been fortunate enough to have been trained in this skill for some time. During and after college, I was trained as a radio disc jockey. As a DJ, it's common place to have 3, 4, or in one case I can remember, 10 different tools to monitor all at once. Between computers for music, computers for information, phones, digital sound effect equipment, CDs, tapes, microphones, people in the studio and the soundboard its self, being a radio disc jockey is a tough job. You need to learn how to handle all of this information coming through at the same time. If you don't, the product that goes out over the air may sound like a big jumbled mess. Hell, if you miss engaging a certain button, you may not even have a product going out over the air.
This skill translates over all aspects of my life. From the minimal amount of multitasking being used while doing dishes and holding a conversation, to what has come to be called the Pompeii scenario. This involves feeding your babe, separating clothes to be washed into white, colors, and baby clothes, the doorbell ringing because the neighbor thinks your dog just bit her dog, (She's is crazy, there is a 6 foot, double-sided fence between them,) and the dogs still going at it in the back yard. Can't put the baby down, can't get the dogs if you get the door, can't get the door if you get the dogs, and this laundry is pissing me off. All while watching the movie Pompeii, which also pissed me off. (It was horrible, 2 stars. Out of 100.) (Good soundtrack, though.) I think the true test though is the Kobayashi Maru, but that is so terrible, only Vulcan minds can think that one up.
The point is, without multitasking, parenting can be tough. Ways to simply train yourself are as follows:
-Putting your kid on the floor, on the bed, or in a chair with a toy while cleaning up. You can remain engaged with them while still getting work done, Son!
-Setting them on the dryer and making it a game while you do the laundry. She'll love the vibrations and get a new sensory perception. Caution: This may frighten some, so be cautious while attempting.
-Yard work to do? If you happen to have a riding lawn mower, sitting on the lap and letting the tot drive is a great engaging activity. Make sure again to take outdoor precautions, (i.e. sun-lotion, hats, long-sleeves, etc.)
-Dishes need done? Maybe the baby needs a bath too? Do you have a double sink. Made this happen. After feeding time, I sat her in one half of the sink and the dishes in the other. Just make sure you don't confuse the soaps.
-Making an important phone call, and the kid just found out he can make dinosaur noises? Mirrors are amazing ways to show you what you look like, and have a kid think he's got a new friend! Mirror baby to the rescue! (What if this world is just one of many universes. Mirrors may be the way we can view into one... whoa.... So, our reflections may just be our best friends... Let your mind think about that one.)
No matter what you need to do, when adding a child to the mix, it can be tough. That's why Multitasking will help you accomplish any household task.
I've been thinking about what are the best ways to get around that issue. I've come up with 3 systems that I have put in place, that seem to be working well. Number 1 is multitasking. THIS IS A MUST for all new parents. If you haven't had the chance to learn this skill, you NEED to.
I've been fortunate enough to have been trained in this skill for some time. During and after college, I was trained as a radio disc jockey. As a DJ, it's common place to have 3, 4, or in one case I can remember, 10 different tools to monitor all at once. Between computers for music, computers for information, phones, digital sound effect equipment, CDs, tapes, microphones, people in the studio and the soundboard its self, being a radio disc jockey is a tough job. You need to learn how to handle all of this information coming through at the same time. If you don't, the product that goes out over the air may sound like a big jumbled mess. Hell, if you miss engaging a certain button, you may not even have a product going out over the air.
This skill translates over all aspects of my life. From the minimal amount of multitasking being used while doing dishes and holding a conversation, to what has come to be called the Pompeii scenario. This involves feeding your babe, separating clothes to be washed into white, colors, and baby clothes, the doorbell ringing because the neighbor thinks your dog just bit her dog, (She's is crazy, there is a 6 foot, double-sided fence between them,) and the dogs still going at it in the back yard. Can't put the baby down, can't get the dogs if you get the door, can't get the door if you get the dogs, and this laundry is pissing me off. All while watching the movie Pompeii, which also pissed me off. (It was horrible, 2 stars. Out of 100.) (Good soundtrack, though.) I think the true test though is the Kobayashi Maru, but that is so terrible, only Vulcan minds can think that one up.
The point is, without multitasking, parenting can be tough. Ways to simply train yourself are as follows:
-Putting your kid on the floor, on the bed, or in a chair with a toy while cleaning up. You can remain engaged with them while still getting work done, Son!
-Setting them on the dryer and making it a game while you do the laundry. She'll love the vibrations and get a new sensory perception. Caution: This may frighten some, so be cautious while attempting.
-Yard work to do? If you happen to have a riding lawn mower, sitting on the lap and letting the tot drive is a great engaging activity. Make sure again to take outdoor precautions, (i.e. sun-lotion, hats, long-sleeves, etc.)
-Dishes need done? Maybe the baby needs a bath too? Do you have a double sink. Made this happen. After feeding time, I sat her in one half of the sink and the dishes in the other. Just make sure you don't confuse the soaps.
-Making an important phone call, and the kid just found out he can make dinosaur noises? Mirrors are amazing ways to show you what you look like, and have a kid think he's got a new friend! Mirror baby to the rescue! (What if this world is just one of many universes. Mirrors may be the way we can view into one... whoa.... So, our reflections may just be our best friends... Let your mind think about that one.)
No matter what you need to do, when adding a child to the mix, it can be tough. That's why Multitasking will help you accomplish any household task.
Monday, February 9, 2015
What They Don't Tell You
It's a broad swath to ask, "What is the most important thing that you've learned since you became a Dad?"
Everything is important in it's own way. Some are more important to you than others will be to someone else. Relativity. (I know, "Thank you, Einstein.") That may sound like a cop out. Just because it is, does not make it any less true.
To answer the question, I need to start at the beginning. In fact, BEFORE the beginning. When everyone is telling you what is expected of what will happen when you expect something to happen... or something like that.
The number one thing I remember hearing was "Sleep while you can." OH MY GOD that was a lame answer. It was so infuriating to think that as a parent, you couldn't sleep; that somehow it was a law parents to do not sleep. Right up there with gravity, Murphy's and Obamacare. Somehow, sleep became a commodity. How naive I was.
The minute my baby was born, life was changed. Not because I had a new job, or a new skill set, or could taste colors, but because my life's schedule now doubled.
The one thing, THEE ONE THING, I wish I was told, and I tell everyone who is expecting: "It's not that you have to expect the lack of sleep, or taking the time to get them ready to go somewhere, or the moody nature of babies. It's ALL that, and having a regular life." That is the key. That is thee most important part that everyone misses.
If it were just the sleepless nights, the trying-crying sessions, the fights over eating foods, all the challenges raising a child takes, it'd be "easy". (I do use that term liberally.) Add to that working a 40 hour job, setting up childcare, tag-teaming with a significant other (if you're lucky), and the wear and tear that puts on a body.
Things I used to do that have either been completely taken over or significantly lacking:
-Working out. I used to run 5 Ks. I haven't been on a run longer than down the hallway since the day she was born. Not because I can't, not because I don't want to. Because in order to get the kid ready to go outside in the stroller, make sure she is fed and clothed appropriately for the weather, and then get myself ready, I either don't have the drive or energy or time.
-Comic Books. As juvenile as my mom keeps telling me they are, I used to read and collect them. I even had my local comic book dealer pull certain titles for me every month. Some every week! One I had directly sent to my house. Now, I'm lucky if I can go to a convention. (More on that later this week.)
-Drinking with friends. I live in a college town, in every sense of the word. There is NOTHING to do here outside of being in your early 20s or being an alcoholic. I used to be able to grab a beer after work with my buddies. I can go, my wife encourages me to go, but I won't because of a) The Money it Takes and b) I would rather be there for my kid than for anyone else. (Go figure. I'm a good dad or something.)
-The Time with my Wife. There is so much to this, it deserves it's own topic.
Expect everything, AND your day-to-day life.
Everything is important in it's own way. Some are more important to you than others will be to someone else. Relativity. (I know, "Thank you, Einstein.") That may sound like a cop out. Just because it is, does not make it any less true.
To answer the question, I need to start at the beginning. In fact, BEFORE the beginning. When everyone is telling you what is expected of what will happen when you expect something to happen... or something like that.
The number one thing I remember hearing was "Sleep while you can." OH MY GOD that was a lame answer. It was so infuriating to think that as a parent, you couldn't sleep; that somehow it was a law parents to do not sleep. Right up there with gravity, Murphy's and Obamacare. Somehow, sleep became a commodity. How naive I was.
The minute my baby was born, life was changed. Not because I had a new job, or a new skill set, or could taste colors, but because my life's schedule now doubled.
The one thing, THEE ONE THING, I wish I was told, and I tell everyone who is expecting: "It's not that you have to expect the lack of sleep, or taking the time to get them ready to go somewhere, or the moody nature of babies. It's ALL that, and having a regular life." That is the key. That is thee most important part that everyone misses.
If it were just the sleepless nights, the trying-crying sessions, the fights over eating foods, all the challenges raising a child takes, it'd be "easy". (I do use that term liberally.) Add to that working a 40 hour job, setting up childcare, tag-teaming with a significant other (if you're lucky), and the wear and tear that puts on a body.
Things I used to do that have either been completely taken over or significantly lacking:
-Working out. I used to run 5 Ks. I haven't been on a run longer than down the hallway since the day she was born. Not because I can't, not because I don't want to. Because in order to get the kid ready to go outside in the stroller, make sure she is fed and clothed appropriately for the weather, and then get myself ready, I either don't have the drive or energy or time.
-Comic Books. As juvenile as my mom keeps telling me they are, I used to read and collect them. I even had my local comic book dealer pull certain titles for me every month. Some every week! One I had directly sent to my house. Now, I'm lucky if I can go to a convention. (More on that later this week.)
-Drinking with friends. I live in a college town, in every sense of the word. There is NOTHING to do here outside of being in your early 20s or being an alcoholic. I used to be able to grab a beer after work with my buddies. I can go, my wife encourages me to go, but I won't because of a) The Money it Takes and b) I would rather be there for my kid than for anyone else. (Go figure. I'm a good dad or something.)
-The Time with my Wife. There is so much to this, it deserves it's own topic.
Expect everything, AND your day-to-day life.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Inspiration
201 Days. That's how long I have officially been a father.
How do I know? I have an app for that. Everyday, it ticks up the days, hours, minutes, seconds of my daughters life.
And before you ask, no, my wife did not implant it secretly into my phone without my knowledge, only to use it as a weapon against me in a far-off fight. "Well, how old is your daughter? ... You don't know?? I put it in your phone!!" No, this was a self-imposed action. I never want to forget my daughters birthday. More so, I find it interesting to see the details of it.
You know how everyone says that they experience time differently? Example: it's busy at work, they say things like, "Wow! Where did the time go?" or "That went fast!" ... I have not that problem. I experience each moment, each agonizing second, the exact same. Waiting for a special event like a birthday or wedding does not come easy for me.
If I have purchased a gift for someone, I tend to give them that gift early. Last year, for my wife's birthday, which mind you is in November, I gave her a gift somewhere in mid-June. For my child's birth, which was expected on August 15th, I gave my wife a charm for her bracelet in November. THE YEAR BEFORE. I suck at giving gifts.
For the past 201 days, I have soaked in, learned, experienced, been impassioned, and overall been all encompassed by what has become my true little bundle of joy, Corinne. (Pronounced Cor-In).
Somewhere along the line, it was suggested I start to write these musings down. Perhaps, if I collect them, someday, somewhere, someone might learn from the little quips that flow from my mind like water freely from the river of inspiration that is my daughter. Or, at best, someone might laugh when I remark how when she stares at me with those cold but inviting eyes, it's like I'm a word find she intently goes over, looking for that one flaw that she can highlight and yell "Huzzah! I have found it! Now Knell Before Your Word-Finding Queen!" Then, after she has zeroed-in with laser-beam intensity, she flips the switch and begins anew on her teddy bear, as if she had not proclaimed her royalty.
The one thing she has given me that I would like to share though is inspiration. My plan is to write every couple of days. If I write a post 3 days a week, I'd be impressed. Just little isms of what it's like to be a father. I'll be writing about my wife, Rebecca, and the rest of our extended family. I hope I do not offend, but offer a view into what a real life situation is for a late-20-something/early-30-something, lower-middle-class family raising their first kid.
Over time, I hope I can show some of these collected works to my daughter and inspire her the same way she inspires me.
How do I know? I have an app for that. Everyday, it ticks up the days, hours, minutes, seconds of my daughters life.
And before you ask, no, my wife did not implant it secretly into my phone without my knowledge, only to use it as a weapon against me in a far-off fight. "Well, how old is your daughter? ... You don't know?? I put it in your phone!!" No, this was a self-imposed action. I never want to forget my daughters birthday. More so, I find it interesting to see the details of it.
You know how everyone says that they experience time differently? Example: it's busy at work, they say things like, "Wow! Where did the time go?" or "That went fast!" ... I have not that problem. I experience each moment, each agonizing second, the exact same. Waiting for a special event like a birthday or wedding does not come easy for me.
If I have purchased a gift for someone, I tend to give them that gift early. Last year, for my wife's birthday, which mind you is in November, I gave her a gift somewhere in mid-June. For my child's birth, which was expected on August 15th, I gave my wife a charm for her bracelet in November. THE YEAR BEFORE. I suck at giving gifts.
For the past 201 days, I have soaked in, learned, experienced, been impassioned, and overall been all encompassed by what has become my true little bundle of joy, Corinne. (Pronounced Cor-In).
Somewhere along the line, it was suggested I start to write these musings down. Perhaps, if I collect them, someday, somewhere, someone might learn from the little quips that flow from my mind like water freely from the river of inspiration that is my daughter. Or, at best, someone might laugh when I remark how when she stares at me with those cold but inviting eyes, it's like I'm a word find she intently goes over, looking for that one flaw that she can highlight and yell "Huzzah! I have found it! Now Knell Before Your Word-Finding Queen!" Then, after she has zeroed-in with laser-beam intensity, she flips the switch and begins anew on her teddy bear, as if she had not proclaimed her royalty.
The one thing she has given me that I would like to share though is inspiration. My plan is to write every couple of days. If I write a post 3 days a week, I'd be impressed. Just little isms of what it's like to be a father. I'll be writing about my wife, Rebecca, and the rest of our extended family. I hope I do not offend, but offer a view into what a real life situation is for a late-20-something/early-30-something, lower-middle-class family raising their first kid.
Over time, I hope I can show some of these collected works to my daughter and inspire her the same way she inspires me.
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