What They Don't Tell You

It's a broad swath to ask, "What is the most important thing that you've learned since you became a Dad?"

Everything is important in it's own way. Some are more important to you than others will be to someone else. Relativity. (I know, "Thank you, Einstein.") That may sound like a cop out. Just because it is, does not make it any less true.

To answer the question, I need to start at the beginning. In fact, BEFORE the beginning. When everyone is telling you what is expected of what will happen when you expect something to happen... or something like that.

The number one thing I remember hearing was "Sleep while you can." OH MY GOD that was a lame answer. It was so infuriating to think that as a parent, you couldn't sleep; that somehow it was a law parents to do not sleep. Right up there with gravity, Murphy's and Obamacare. Somehow, sleep became a commodity. How naive I was.

The minute my baby was born, life was changed. Not because I had a new job, or a new skill set, or could taste colors, but because my life's schedule now doubled.

The one thing, THEE ONE THING, I wish I was told, and I tell everyone who is expecting: "It's not that you have to expect the lack of sleep, or taking the time to get them ready to go somewhere, or the moody nature of babies. It's ALL that, and having a regular life." That is the key. That is thee most important part that everyone misses.

If it were just the sleepless nights, the trying-crying sessions, the fights over eating foods, all the challenges raising a child takes, it'd be "easy". (I do use that term liberally.) Add to that working a 40 hour job, setting up childcare, tag-teaming with a significant other (if you're lucky), and the wear and tear that puts on a body.

Things I used to do that have either been completely taken over or significantly lacking:
-Working out. I used to run 5 Ks. I haven't been on a run longer than down the hallway since the day she was born. Not because I can't, not because I don't want to. Because in order to get the kid ready to go outside in the stroller, make sure she is fed and clothed appropriately for the weather, and then get myself ready, I either don't have the drive or energy or time.
-Comic Books. As juvenile as my mom keeps telling me they are, I used to read and collect them. I even had my local comic book dealer pull certain titles for me every month. Some every week! One I had directly sent to my house. Now, I'm lucky if I can go to a convention. (More on that later this week.)
-Drinking with friends. I live in a college town, in every sense of the word. There is NOTHING to do here outside of being in your early 20s or being an alcoholic. I used to be able to grab a beer after work with my buddies. I can go, my wife encourages me to go, but I won't because of a) The Money it Takes and b) I would rather be there for my kid than for anyone else. (Go figure. I'm a good dad or something.)
-The Time with my Wife. There is so much to this, it deserves it's own topic.

Expect everything, AND your day-to-day life.