Stay-at-home Dads

The other morning, The Kid and I were watching CBS news when we saw a story about Stay-at-home Dads. I was very upset after watching.

The story, (linked above,) talks about several dads who are giving up their careers to become stay-at-home dads. That's great. I would LOVE to become one. My baby is my life. She is everything to me. I put her development above most of everything else. (I mean, come on. Bacon. Will be and always has been numbero uno.)

Al Watts is the main feature of the story. He has recently written a book called 'Dads behaving Dadly.' He and his wife Shirley talk in the story about their four kids, mentioning how he does all the housework, cooking, and day-to-day raising of the children while she is busy being an executive at ConAgra Foods. ... (putting a pin in this.)

It's not the fact that they have that arrangement that upsets me. It's not even the fact that she has a great job that allows him to benefit by staying at home and working on the family. That's 'Merica at work. I am all for the concept. It's the idea that this arrangement is upsetting societal norm. Not because it's a man instead of a woman. I couldn't care less about gender stereotypes. It's the fact that they act like everyone could afford a stay-at-home parent.

The CBS report says that 20% of wives out earn their husbands. THAT is awesome! But when McDonald's does not pay workers a living wage, it makes sense that gender equality should tip the balance on the lower end. With wages stagnating, and unemployment fluctuating the way it has been in the past decade, the idea that the median, not even the majority of households could afford this is laughable.

Also in the report, it's stated that 16% of at-home care takers are now stay-at-home dads. That's great. However, (pulling out that pin), that speaks to the idea they were going for, that this stay-at-home Dad concept is a rediculious affront to the societal normalcy. That being a man who care takes the home and raises the children is against the traditional values of putting the woman in that place. This story is now a two level offender to my sensibilities.

BUT WAIT! There's more!

My wife and I work 2 full time jobs. We have a baby at home. We barely make above the poverty line. (With GOOD jobs, mind you.) We can't get help like food stamps because we make just too much. I couldn't get a loan to buy my house, because I don't have enough collateral. I have to rent. I would love to have a second kid soon. Possibly even more down the line. With a Bachelor's Degree, you'd think I'd get a job that could pay just enough to do better than that. But I can't. Now, at 4:30 in the morning, while I'm in the most of cranky moods, I get to watch a puff piece about some rich ass talking about how everyone should be a stay-at-home parent... (Aggravation level: Orange.)

His wife works as an executive at ConAgra foods, one of the biggest, worst companies "for-profit lines only" thought processes. Where the environment is our play thing and the future is a leverage chip. I am jealous, in a way. Only because I have just as much of a right to be jealous of her job and money that she does to have it.

Shirley, taking about her husband in regards to the envy of her contemporaries stated that they ask "... how can I get one of those?" ... ... ... REALLY SIMPLE. Become an executive at ConAgra. I mean... come on. Can she be serious?

"Like many stay at home dads, he initially suffered from social isolation." ... A direct quote from the story... In other words, he got lonely from only talking to kids today. The part that brings me to a full tilt, however, is the "Like many stay at home dads." Not, 'Like many stay-at-home parents.' No... "... dads..." Just because they can afford this lifestyle, they make it seem like such a burden. I'd say that about stay-at-home moms too.

Towards the end, Watts is quoted as this is "surprising doable." ... It is. When your wife makes the salary of a ConAgra executive.

EVEN LOOKING AT THE NUMBERS OF CARE COST, if you take out the money it costs to put a kid in daycare, let alone 4, there is still the regular cost of food, clothes, and sheltering the children. That is just the basics. Now, add in Healthcare costs, recreation costs, median personal debt to the equation, you're facing a serious deficiet. UNLESS, you have an EXTREMELY well paying job, which have become rare as the war on the middle class continues.

I'm sorry, sir, but I must rebuke this idea of affordability. That's why I advocate for a strong, tag-teaming approach. where norms be damned, ANY parent can raise the kid. Whether it's a stay-at-home mom, dad, other dad or other mom, grandparent, aunt, uncle; I just could give less of a crap about whether it's a man or woman. It's the cost of it. We do live in a real world. If dreams of kitty cats and rainbows could help pay for this, I'd be all on board. Hell, I'd drive that bus.

... I hear Denmark is a good place for child care... hmmmmm.....